Ellen
requested a Meggie/Ray V pairing. Not often done.
Rated
G, the only warning is to Meggy/Benny shippers – be aware that a couple of bits
might not butter your muffin.
==============================================================================================
Margaret
wasn’t sure where she was when she first woke up. What she felt first was the
heaviness around her right leg. She oriented. There was a cast on her right
leg. She was in a hospital in Bayfield
and she had a broken ankle. Somewhere
else in the hospital were Ray and Harding. And Fraser, of course. Fraser was
the reason they were there at all.
Late,
late last night, or rather earlier this morning, some nurse had steered her to
an empty room and helped her into a night-gown retrieved from the suitcase that
was supposed to have served her for her week's vacation with Fraser and the
Americans. Then the nurse had forced a pain pill and a sleeping pill into her
and tucked her in.
Margaret
sat up in the bed and considered her next move. She could press the button
beside her bed and ask for help, or try to wash and dress on her own. The
decision was made for her when a passing nurse glanced into the room and saw
her sitting up. She came in. Her name tag said 'Ms. Kennedy'.
"You
up, honey?"
Margaret
stiffened a little as she always did when addressed as honey, sweetie, darling
or any such. Then she forced herself to accept this wasn't the time and place
for political statement, any more than it had been yesterday when she and Jane
were busy saving Fraser's life. The nurse meant only to help her and Margaret
had to admit she'd be glad of the help. It would be all right to admit to
needing help maybe just this once, Margaret figured. She'd been hurt in a plane
crash and she'd had the experience of pawing through her deputy's guts only
hours ago. For once, maybe, she could let go of the 'dragon lady' image under
these unusual circumstances and no one would think any the less of her for it.
Ms.
Kennedy didn’t make small talk, and for that Margaret was grateful. The nurse
helped her with all the necessities with a professional lack of fuss and
shortly Margaret had dealt with her bodily functions and was clean and clothed.
"Your
constable is out of recovery and doing fine. He's still doped up. You may as
well have breakfast,"
said
the nurse told her, "Do you want a tray in here or do you want to go sit
with your friends? They're in the cafeteria."
It
was the first time Margaret ever heard Harding and Ray called her friends, and
she liked the sound of it. They had laboured together to keep Fraser alive, sat
vigil while he was operated on, waiting together to see if he would live or
die. She and the Americans were more than friends now. She wanted to be with
them.
"I'll
go eat with the others," Margaret said and then realised the physical act
of going wasn’t going to be all that easy with a broken ankle. She looked
around the room and, sure enough, a pair of crutches were leaning against the
wall, just outside of her reach. She pointed to them and asked the nurse.
"Would you mind getting me those?"
"Sure,
honey. But let me just . . . " Ms. Kennedy went out into the corridor and
returned shortly with a wheelchair. Again Margaret faced the decision of whether
to accept this or not. The nurse saw
her pause. "Let me take you over. It'll take you a while to get used to
the crutches." There was no
condescension in her tone; it was a simple statement of fact so Margaret
accepted to be settled into the wheelchair. The nurse handed the crutches into
her lap and pushed her out into the corridor.
==============================================================================================
It
wasn't a very large hospital. A small room with only a few tables served as
cafeteria, and it was empty except for Harding and Ray sitting at one of the
tables. Ray's broken right arm was in a sling and he was struggling to shovel
scrambled eggs into his mouth with his left hand, without spilling too much.
Harding had a half-eaten muffin in front of him. They looked up as Ms. Kennedy
wheeled her in and Margaret saw in their expressions that they were actually
happy to see her. The nurse set her at their table.
"I
have to get going. One of you gentlemen please go tell them in the kitchen to
make her something." With that, she was off. Her orders hadn't been
necessary. One of the kitchen staff had seen Margaret enter and came out to ask
her what she wanted.
What
she really wanted by now was to see Fraser, to assure herself that he was alive
and in one piece. But Ray and Harding seemed perfectly calm so Fraser must be
fine. She controlled her impatience and downed bacon, eggs, toast and coffee.
"Let's go check on Fraser," she said to the Americans when it seemed
everyone had finished eating.
Harding
got up first, made sure her crutches were safely in her grasp and then
matter-of-factly steered her while Ray walked along beside. Again, she had the
impulse to protest and again stifled it. They were fellow police officers. They
weren't passing any judgement or accusing her of weakness.
The
three of them paused at the door of Fraser's room and looked inside. He was
still unconscious. Margaret's look went first to his chest. It rose and fell
slightly under a sheet. Fraser was breathing.
Ray
pushed passed the others and stood close to his partner's head. Harding wheeled
Margaret in and the two of them stood a little behind Ray, allowing him his
rightful moment as Fraser's closest friend. Margaret noticed the gentleness
with which Ray touched his friend's brow and the total lack of embarrassment as
he let tears fall. She thought back on the day before. Ray's assigned
"job" had been to hold Fraser's hand and watch over him. He'd done
this with such devotion that Margaret, even in her deep concentration on the
make-shift surgery, had been touched by it. Perhaps this was because he was
Italian, an emotional people according to the stereotype. But Margaret knew
that wasn't it. He simply loved Fraser, as a partner and a friend, and was not afraid
to show it.
Then
Margaret realised she was there to look at Fraser, not Ray. She wheeled herself
closer and Ray stood aside to let her look at the man in the bed. This
certainly wasn't how she was used to seeing her deputy. His arms lay limp at his
sides in the short-sleeved hospital gown. She'd always shivered at the sight of
those impressive arms, the odd time she had seen them exposed. The arms looked
different now, long white helpless lumps. Fraser's face, unconscious, was also
disturbing. His eyes fluttered half-open, rolling up horribly under their lids.
His lips hung just a little apart and spittle glistened in the corners of his
mouth. She felt just a twinge of
revulsion and then caught herself and felt guilty for the feeling.
So
she focused her attention back on Ray. Margaret envied him his ability to show
his affection without fear of being thought weak. Ray's eyes, very nice green
eyes, glowed with affection. A less secure man would be afraid of his open
caring being misinterpreted.
==============================================================================================
Fraser
wasn’t going to be conscious for many more hours, so after they had been there
just looking at him for a few minutes, continuing in his role as unofficial
leader, Harding announced that they had better start making some plans what to
do next. Margaret allowed her self to wonder just why she had let Harding
assume a position of dominance, both yesterday and today. Perhaps it because he
was the only one unhurt. Or perhaps he
was simply the oldest and most experienced of the group. Again, she found
herself surprised at her own acceptance of this.
Harding
decided they'd better find some kind of administrative person or other, who
could get them in touch with whatever resources they would need to do whatever
they were going to decide to do. They found a door that said
"Administration". A woman inside recognised them at once as three of
the cops that had come in the night before and sat them down in her office. The
sign on her desk said 'Ellen'.
"I
was just going to go looking for you three. Dr. Wallner came by earlier this
morning and asked me to fill you in on the situation. She's sure he'll be all
right, but she doesn't want him to be moved for a few more days. After that I
suppose you'll want to arrange transport for him back to Chicago."
"Dr.
Wallner?" asked Margaret.
Ellen smiled. "Yesterday when you talked to
her you called her Jane."
"Does
everybody in the hospital know about yesterday?" Harding wanted to know.
"Everybody
in town. We'll be talking about it for years, probably." The she got down
to business. "I guess all of you have medical insurance?"
They
spent some time filling out forms.
"Now,
there's a commuter flight from Bayfield
to Chicago but it won't leave until much later this afternoon. We don't usually
keep guests here, of course, but under the circumstances if somebody wanted to
stay with him for a while . . . "
"Benny
shouldn't wake up to a bunch of strangers!" Ray announced. "I'm staying."
Margaret
was ashamed he was the first to say it. She should have been the one to make
that declaration. Something about seeing Fraser sprawled out so ungainly and
helpless had unsettled her even more than seeing him bleeding and near death
the day before. Yesterday had been all drama and somehow unreal. Today
everything seemed down-to-earth and her own reactions confused her. Was she
really that shallow as to care for Fraser only when he was standing tall and
looking good?
"I
think you should," agreed Harding, his voice breaking into her thoughts,
"but I think I'll head back. Margaret?"
They
had been on a first name basis since the crash. It didn't seem to make sense to
be too formal when they had both been elbow-deep in Fraser.
Margaret
now found herself in a difficult situation. She was almost ready to go back now
that she was assured Fraser was out of danger. But it would look so bad, so
bad. "I'll stay too, I guess."
The
Americans caught her tone, or rather lack of tone, and looked at her with
surprise. "Won't we be the jolly threesome," commented Ray.
==============================================================================================
Harding
left as planned later that afternoon. There was cable TV and good supply of
reading material at the hospital but Margaret was too wrapped up in reality to
be interested in anything made-up. Ray apparently was feeling the same and they
spent the better part of the day talking – about Fraser.
"You
know, Ray, I never did learn much about what happened with that Metcalfe woman.
Fraser was arrested for murder and later found to be framed, that much is in
the reports. And then, of course, the shooting." They both grimaced.
"Yeah,
it all happened just before you came. And then you fired him," he added.
"right after he got shot and then hurt in a plane crash. I never
understood that."
Margaret
searched Ray's face for signs of reproach. She was surprised not to find any,
considering how protective he was of his unofficial partner and the caring she
had seen in the last couple of days. She concluded that Ray was quite the
diplomat when he chose to be.
"At
the time it seemed like the right thing to do. I don't think I can really
explain it." Margaret told him, thinking how lame it sounded.
Ray
let the matter go. She appreciated his tact. In the months since telling
Fraser, obliquely, that he would be allowed to stay in Chicago, she had tried
to analyse why she had been so hostile back at the beginning. The truth, once
she looked it in the eye, hadn't been
pleasant but she never shrank from unpleasant truths. She was attracted to him
right away, his looks, his strength, his composure, his "perfect
Mountie" façade. So of course she had to get rid of him.
Margaret
asked for the detailed story of those times. The detective launched into the
tale about Victoria, the shooting, Fraser's recovery, and the vacation Ray and
Fraser had attempted to take afterwards. They had plenty of time for
story-telling. Fraser was still doped to oblivion.
"So
in that other plane crash it was Fraser that was hurt worse. Just like
yesterday. That's so like him," mused Margaret when Ray got to the part
about Fraser's concussion and loss of the use of his legs. "With all his
physical strength and agility, you'd think he'd . . . " She dropped the
end of that thought as she noticed the quizzical look Ray was giving her.
"Well, he is a little impractical sometimes, you have to admit. He ran
into a burning building to get my laundry, for Heaven's sake!"
Ray's
studying of her made her squirm.
"Maybe
he does stuff like that for you for some other reason?"
Margaret
didn't like where this might be going so she called a halt to it. "It
doesn't matter the reason. It was irresponsible. He's a police officer."
"Mmm
hmm." Ray's tone gave no hint as to his meaning. It was right then that a
nurse they hadn't met yet came up to them and told them Fraser was expected to
wake up within the hour and would they like to go sit with him now and wait?
Ellen had been right - everyone knew
about them.
Margaret
was using the crutches exclusively now and, as they walked down the hall to
Fraser's room, she suddenly realised that Ray had managed to match his walking
pace to her slow hops without giving the outward appearance of adjusting his
stride in any way. He just made it look natural that he should amble along at a
snail's pace. There was none of the deliberate slowing of step that one often
fell into without thinking when accompanying a mobility-challenged person. She
could understand why Fraser liked this American so much. He managed to be kind without any fuss and
without making you feel obliged. Then she caught herself. Certainly this man
had his own issues. She'd have to be careful not to admire him too much.
==============================================================================================
They
sat chatting about inconsequential things and watching Fraser for signs of
waking up. Eventually he groaned slightly and twisted his head. He opened his
eyes a little and then shut them tightly against the light.
Ray
jumped up and stood beside Fraser's head. He held his open palm in front of
Fraser's eyes, fingers together, shielding his friend from the light.
"It's okay now, Benny, I got you covered."
Margaret
smiled at this inadvertently literal assurance.
"Open
your eyes slow now. That's good. I'm opening my fingers a little bit at a
time." Ray spread his fingers, held them for a few beats and then drew
them slowly away from Fraser's face.
It
wouldn't have occurred to Margaret to do something like this.
Fraser
grunted and looked around. Ray was standing closer so he saw his partner first.
"Ray." It was more a groan than an actual word.
"I'm
here. And so's Margaret."
Fraser
looked around for her and saw her standing at the foot of the bed.
"Sir."
"I'm
here, Fraser."
Fraser's
eyelids fluttered and he drifted away again.
"It's
good to see him awake," remarked Ray, although it wasn't quite accurate to
think of Fraser's present condition as in any way wakeful. "I've been so
worried," he admitted.
==============================================================================================
The
long hours spent in conversation with Margaret were giving Ray a whole new view
of this woman that Benny was so stuck on. He saw the attraction. The looks were
impressive, for sure, but he'd always perceived her as the 'dragon lady', out
to make poor Benny's life miserable.
Now he was feeling her real warmth and getting to know her quick mind.
It was a pleasure to talk to her. Ray began to have feelings toward her that
were just a little bit inappropriate for the woman he knew his best friend
carried a torch for. He'd have to keep it platonic for Benny's sake, but, damn,
it was going to be hard.
==============================================================================================
They
sat in Fraser's room the rest of that day and all the next morning, so as to be
there on the odd occasion he drifted into consciousness. But for the most part
he stayed asleep and they had all that time to talk. Finally they decided to
get some air. A walk around the hospital grounds seemed as much as they wanted
to undertake, considering Margaret's ankle and their unwillingness to be too
far away from Fraser.
Around
the back of the building, just beside a loading ramp they came upon a lone
rosebush. They stopped to consider it.
"Look
at this," said Ray, "This poor thing is all by itself here, just
being all sweet and pretty where you wouldn't expect it."
Something
in his tone made Margaret suspect he was talking about more than the flowers.
She blushed and Ray saw it.
"Of
course, something about this flower. It doesn't mind showing us how sweet it
is." Ray continued. Maybe he could get her to admit to liking Benny. Maybe
this was their big chance. She saved his life. Maybe she felt protective. This
could be it.
"Flowers
are lucky," Margaret said softly.
"Because.
. . ?"
"Because
people expect them to be sweet. Nobody thinks they're weak or . . . " She
stopped.
Ray
pressed on. Benny and his boss would be an item just as soon as his Mountie
friend recovered enough to itemise. "Maybe people shouldn't worry about
things like that," he suggested, "Maybe people should admit how they
feel."
"Like
you do," said Margaret.
"Me?"
Margaret
summoned her courage. "You're a very sweet and very caring man, Ray. And
you don't mind showing it. I admire that."
Ray
deliberately tuned out the obvious.
"Nothing
to admire. Just comes from living with my mother too long."
"No,
I mean it. These last couple of days, well, I think I see what it is about you
Fraser likes so much. You're a genuinely good person."
Ray
was getting uncomfortable now. The tuning out wasn't working very well, the
signals kept getting stronger. He had to get this conversation back to being
about Fraser somehow. "Well, as somebody we both know would say, thank you
kindly."
Margaret
bent down and touched one of the rosebuds. "No, thank you for being such a
good friend."
"To
him, you mean."
"Not
necessarily." As far as Margaret was concerned, she'd committed herself
this far, she was going to force Ray to understand, even though he clearly
wanted to nip this in the bud.
It
was Ray's turn to blush now. "Look, Inspector . . . "
"Margaret,"
she corrected.
"No,
for this I have to call you 'Inspector'," Ray cleared his throat.
"I'm flattered, I mean I really wish I could . . . but Fraser's my best
friend."
"There's
nothing between Fraser and me."
"Not
now, but there should be. You can't believe how much he wants there to be. I
can't do something like this to him."
"Something
like what?"
Ray
lost his control there and then. "Something like this." Their kiss
was a little awkward, working as they were around her crutches and the cast on
his arm. But such was their motivation that overcame these obstacles.
==========================================================================================================
Jane,
otherwise known as Dr. Wallner, allowed them to transport Fraser home two days
later and one Mountie found himself in another hospital and one Mountie found
herself behind her desk again, but visiting her deputy every day after
work. Ray was there every evening too.
As
Fraser improved they chatted more and more with him and less and less with each
other. But when visiting hours were over, they left together. One night they
went for coffee. One night they went for a late dinner. The third night they
went back to her apartment. Thereafter they went to her apartment every single
night right from the hospital, there being no more need for pretence – except
in front of Fraser.
==============================================================================================
There
was a Thursday evening when Margaret had to attend a diplomatic function and
couldn't come to the hospital. Ray went alone and had his usual pleasant and
meaningless conversation with his friend. But Fraser seemed distressed.
"What's
wrong Benny? You've been twitching all evening."
"I
don't twitch, Ray."
"Call
it something else then. But I never saw you shift around like this, in or out
of the hospital. What gives?" Ray had an inkling what gave but kept it to
himself, hoping he was wrong.
"You're
very astute, Ray."
"I'm
a detective."
"You're more than that, you're my best friend."
Fraser seemed to be picking his words carefully. "Ray, I want you to
understand that I understand that you are my best friend."
"Say
what?"
"I
mean, I know you are my friend, even if you are doing something that some
people might think a friend wouldn't do."
"I
don't follow you," Ray lied.
Fraser
cleared his throat. "I never declared myself to the Inspector. She
completely free to . . . go where her heart leads her, if you understand
me."
Ray
sat for a moment, trying to take in what he was hearing.
"Benny,
I never meant to steal her or anything."
"I
know that, Ray." Fraser sighed. "I can't say I'm not a little
disappointed. I guess I'd always hoped . . . But, it couldn't work. She's my
superior officer. I think, maybe, deep down I realised that."
Ray
wanted to hug him, but had only one good arm, so he just stood near and put his
one good arm around his friend.
"Ray."
"Yeah,
buddy."
"I
couldn't help but notice. The way you look at each other when you think I'm not
watching. The way you leave together every night."
Ray
gulped.
"I
realise you are both adults," Fraser continued, "but if it should prove your intentions are . . ."
"They're
honourable, Fraser. I'm going to ask her to marry me as soon as I get up the
guts. Tell you what. Her parents are both dead. How's about I ask you for her
hand right here and now."
Fraser
smiled. "Do I get to be best man?"
Ray
smiled back. "Or Miss Fraser can be the bridesmaid."
Fraser's
smile fell away instantly. "Ray! You never told her about that did
you?"
"I
wouldn't do that to you, Fraser. I'll
never let her know your legs are better than hers."
Airborne
The
Moo